Oats for Thought: Alan Maricle and the Indomitable Spirit of Rosie

Friends-

I'm a fundamentalist Christian. And I don't care who knows it.

I just wanted you all to know that we will be back in the blogosphere, more so than we have been lately. Trying times indeed. There have been numerous horse issues around the globe, and we at AbHorAbor have been, crusading, to say the least from country to country, ridding the world of the cruelty and injustice that is Horse Abortion. Apparently people in Malaysia think that Mares’ pelvic bones can handle some late term abortions- I got news: they can’t.

Our cohorts at Abolish Human Abortion recently disappointed us. They said that we shouldn’t donate to the pagan-ridden whack-a-loon cause that is the Susan G. Komen Foundation. They were dead on. It’s a “cancer research” facade that contributes to the abortion of humans. This is where we differ, respectfully; we’re trying to rid the whole world of abortion of different shades of life. Why just stop at humans? I digress...

What disappointed us was the fact that they are willingly using Microsoft, when they know that some of those dollars go towards Planned Parenthood. Particularly, Alan Maricle said that the world runs on Microsoft, so we should just accept it. Should we horse, lovers? I say neigh!

End the hypocrisy- we at AbHorAbor have a blacklist of companies that donate to Planned Parenthood. And guess what? That includes Microsoft. Sorry, Alan Maricle and Russell Hunter, as well at Toby Harmon, our material needs take a backseat to the Lord Jesus Christ. You guys can continue to live a life of hypocrisy, but we will not. In fact, I pointed out that I’m dictating this using the Sprint Relay, because Sprint Relay is a Christian company. I’m using a translator named Rosie. She’s a beautiful woman. How about you sit down? I have a story to tell.

Rosie and I have talked many times. She’s a God-fearing woman, with a burning passion for life in all forms. She has a wonderful garden; she refuses to hire an exterminator, even though her home in infested with termites. She literally wouldn’t hurt a fly.

She told me a little bit about herself. She was born in Euless, Texas in 1934. She has known the horrors of abortion all too well. Her mother became pregnant with her when her mother was only 13. A negro man impregnated her, and her father wasn’t happy. After he lynched the negro, he took a salad fork and held down Rosie’s mother, attempting to dig out that ‘tar baby’ as he called it. Rosie’s spirit overcame with the help of God; and with the help Rosie’s mother’s spring-like legs.

Rosie and her mother fled Euless, and landed on a farm in Mansfield, Arkansas. Fortunately, she found a family that took her in, and raised Rosie’s mother, as well as Rosie. That’s when Rosie developed her love for horses. She fed them, rid them; some would compare it to the play, ‘Equus’. But Rosie knew that God wouldn’t let liberal pedophilia invade her heart. It was strictly platonic. Rosie raised her own mare, called it, Valerie. A beautiful name, for a beautiful horse.

Breeding was discouraged (as it is currently by the people at AbHorAbor), because it gives triviality to a horse’s existence. We compare it to slavery. Because these beings are being used as a means to complete one’s ends. Jesus never did that. In the Bible, Jesus references the equality of all beings, many times overs. We already have an earlier post, blasting a certain Kentucky Derby winner. Again, I digress. Back to Rosie’s indomitable spirit.

She saw that God wanted a stallion named Peachy McGoo to impregnate Valerie. So it was His will. Rosie prepared for the birth like any mother would; she was prepared to be a grandmother. A Native American helper named Toady helped try and deliver the little baby, but it was a breech birth. So, the savage yanked the baby from Valerie’s horse vagina. And stomped it to death. A single tear fell from Valerie’s eye. Rosie never got over it.

What my point is, Rosie has seen her fair share of disadvantages in life. She has survived an abortion; she’s currently dealing with carpal tunnel syndrome. She has a speech impediment. Everyone would say, “She should have been aborted; and Toady did the right thing.” Well, I’m here to tell you, Rosie is the warmest, most beautiful woman I’ve met. And she is a true abolitionist. For all life.

End the atrocity that is horse abortion. Now.

And I would like an explanation from our cohorts. We have a mission to carry out on this earth. And it doesn't involve Microsoft.

Peace, love and oats,

William Wilburhorse

atrocities. here and everywhere

let me regale you with a story friends. there was at one time a group of people who found the early termination of young colts everywhere so abhorrent that they could stand idly by no longer. They went out and purchased the best of the best in blog technology. They had MacBook pros. They had expensive headphones, and you had better believe that they had backpacks within backpacks that we're top of the line. You may say, what if instead of buying all of this equipment, you bought cheaper equipment and funneled that which was saved into your cause? You my friend are a fool. Perhaps you have never heard? You have to spend money to make money, and you have to make money to make a difference.

I am writing this from my iPad. No. My iPad2. Do you think Abraham Lincoln wrote the emancipation proclamation with some cheap dell? He didn't. Dells weren't around, and he probably would have been completely baffled by computer technology as it was still 20 years off. Do you think he drank community brand coffee? Hell no. He was the president for Christ's sake. (sorry for using the holy lords name in vain, but I am heated.) the horse abortion abolition is here in the 21st century to stay, and you had better bet your sweet cattle skin chaps that we will be ahead of every curve and ride the back of every trend, because uncool people don't make a difference.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Since We've Been Gone

Friends and fetus lovers of all species-

We are back from a short hiatus, we want our supporters to know that we have not forgotten the cause or gone off course. Truth be told, we were recently at Churchill Downs protesting the running of certain horses- Animal Kingdom to be specific, who unfortunately won. You see, Animal Kingdom is a pro-choicer godless fetus killer. It would've been great to see that horse break his leg down the stretch (maybe they would have shot the scumbag). Animal Kingdom's win does not mean a win for the pro choicers- God will smite him down eventually.

We've noticed an article written by a true abolitionist, Matt Bruenig, at the OU Daily, regarding our cause and those who choose to mock it. We were under the impression that our friends, led by Grant Keeter, Alan Maricle and Ian John (whose real name we've uncovered- but we'll unveil it another day! Praise Jesus) over at Abolish Human Abortion were on the same track we were- abolishing abortion for all fetuses. But this piece of investigative journalism leads us to believe that maybe we are victims of mockery. This is truly a shame. We want our voice to be heard, not mocked by a bunch of nutters who think this is all a good laugh. Horse fetuses die at an astounding rate every day- is that funny to you? You think John Calvin or William Wilburforce would get a kick out of that? Nay, pun intended.

Another thing, @AthiestOK, aka the Oklahoma Athiests, aka the moral-less, soul-less godless hate mongers that spreads their intrepid filth across the Jesus-land of America decided to tweet about our cause. This is what we say to you: Don't mention us, or even entertain the idea that we have anything to do with you. In fact, I'd like to formally invite a rep from the Oklahoma Athiests, Alan Maricle and Grant Keeter, and one of our reps to have a philosophical, theological, methodological discussion over our beliefs, so that maybe we could come to an understanding about our beliefs. Grant Keeter and Alan Maricle have repeatedly ignored our requests, as if they refuse a little dialogue and discourse. Fellow brothers in Christ- (and Satan-stained Athiests)- we should get together at the Gray Owl. Soon. I know this is a local haunt for the Maricles and Keeters and Ian Johns of the world. We could team up on these Athiests together guys. We could bring the Bible, shove that in their face and talk about how we could really put a dent in this fetus-murder that these pagans get involved in.

So, guys: who wants a forum? I Do!!! Facebook followers, spread the word to get these three in a room together to discuss the issues. I know we can do it.

Peace, Love and Oats,

William Wilburhorse

PS Animal Kingdom will be at Preakness soon. We are gathering funds to protest this monster being able to race in a past time that celebrates the wonder of horse. Donate now.

Join us on Facebook and Twitter!

Hello fellow abolitionists!

We have entered the social media world. You can find us on Twitter @HorseAbolition, and "like" us on Facebook by clicking here.

Praise the Almighty Father and his only Son Jesus Christ for creating this wonderful outlets for us to spread the message!

-- HW

Horse-killing ISN'T just a MARE issue!

I was reminded today of why I'm an abolitionist.

One time at my college (yeah, that's right you liberal snobs... us conservatives can be educated!!), I was in a public speaking class. My professor said to pick a topic for a persuasive speech. (BTW, for the purpose of protecting his identity and my college, I will call him "Dr. HorseHater throughout this post)

So I went to him during his office hours, and said, "Dr. HorseHater, I'd like to speak about horse abortion. It is a subject that is dear to my heart and I feel like I can persuade others to feel as strongly as me."

He said, "Have you ever had a horse abortion? Were you a horse that was aborted?" Dr. HorseHater was essentially telling me that, because I'm not a horse, because I haven't BEEN aborted (how ARBITRARY is that??), I can't talk about something I feel passionately about.

"You have to have experience in something to speak about it to convince people of your views," Dr. HorseHater said. "You have to have a stake in it."

Umm... well, two REBUTTALS to this absurdity: 1) I have experience in SIN. We all do. WE ARE ALL SINNERS, DR. HORSEHATER! 2) Everyone has a stake in the murder of innocent people. Do we tell public officials when they are speaking about murders, "Sorry, Detective. Sorry Mr. President. Sorry Senator. You can't talk about that because you haven't ever committed a murder or been murdered." N.O. We let people talk about important issues because they are important.

Which brings me back to Dr. HorseHater. I defied his orders and spoke about it anyway. I told my classmates and the professor about how an astonishing 78 (That's right: SEVENTY-EIGHT) percent of mares that have abortions suffer from depression, anxiety and eating disorders. As my colleague pointed out in a past post, mares that have abortions are shown to "Buck off riders at an astounding 23% increase."

I got an "F" on the speech. But what do I care? I got an "A" from the only professor I care about, a well-known Doctor of Everything named GOD.

(An aside: I went above the professors head, and the grade is still in the appeals process. I know God will come through for me.)

How does that not affect me? Say I want to go horseback riding somewhere. What if that horse has had an abortion? That puts me DIRECTLY at risk. It's simple logic: The more that we turn our heads and allow this atrocity, the more likely horses are to injure people. EVER HEARD OF CHRISTOPHER REEVE?? The horse that bucked Reeve was a male, I'm pretty sure, but here's guessing he was pretty upset because he'd just found out that his mare lifepartner had aborted his son or daughter. Think about it.

Anyway, I hear this argument a lot. People tell me I have no credibility when speaking about horse abortions. Well, that is just ARBITRARY! I have every right to speak about sin, because it affects all of us, and about something that directly can cause human suffering.

People say, "Look, this is a mare issue. Not a human issue. Certainly not a theological issue." Totally untrue. This is a GOD issue. The FIRST ABOLITIONIST himself, a little guy I like to call JESUS CHRIST, wasn't a horse. Wasn't a mare. Didn't have any experience with abortions of any kind. But would you put money on him being in the pro-murder, whack-a-loon crowd? I DON'T THINK SO!

STOP HORSE ABORTION BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

-- HW

YOU THINK FINDING RHOLOGY IS IMPOSSIBLE? DO YOU BELIEVE IN MARICLES?? YES!!!!

Friends and fetus-lovers of all species-

Our Almighty Father has blessed us yet again. In an earlier post I claimed that our fearless Christian-blogging leader, Rhology, was wise to use this identity in order to protect his real name. However, THE BIG MAN HIMSELF blessed our tireless workers at Abolish Horse Abortion with the ability to track down who this guy is.

DRUM ROLL PLEASE

ALAN MARICLE!!!!! OF NORMAN, OKLAHOMA!!!

Thanks to the Almighty Father for this ! Now that we have found you, Alan Maricle, we hope to bridge the gaps of misunderstanding and seek to end all abortions of every kind! I feel that since we are friends and soldiers in the army of God, Alan Maricle, we'll be able to use your birth name, Alan Maricle.

Alan Maricle is a tireless worker seeking to end all other belief systems other than that of the Christian God. We've been avid fans of his blog for sometime now. Here, with an iron typing hand he squashes all those silly atheist/pagan arguments. In this post, he even says what many would consider to be a contradiction to the Christian faith (and they are clearly just hypnotized by SATAN)....that those dirty pagan Japs got what they deserved. Amen brother! Preach on preacher-man!

What else did we find out about Mr. Alan Maricle? Well, ladies and gentlemen, he was on NEWS9!!!! Oh yeah, he even gave an awesome quote, in this article (and the video where our fearless Christian-blogging leader is there as well, Alan Maricle, in the flesh!!!!) He used our right to assemble over those godless barbarians, the Satanic church. He showed them. They will probably stop all that nonsense now. Thanks Alan Maricle!!

What we love most about Alan Maricle of Norman, Oklahoma is that he will not be beaten in an argument. What does he do about rebuttals to his amazing claims? He just links to his blog (which might be the most important text, next to the BIBLE), because he's probably already written about the subject! AMEN BROTHER! Most critics would say:

"How will you convince me otherwise if you just link to a biased blog you wrote?"

I say: "BECAUSE ALAN MARICLE MIGHT BE A PROPHET!!!!!"

He takes all the Pagan-venom spewed at him (from Facebook and Twitter), and reposts them on his blog to brag about his exploits versus the uninformed, uneducated and ignorant people of the world! Like this one, where he straight up takes on a pro-choice whack-a-loon on Twitter. Or this one, where he goes toe-to-toe with Josh on Facebook. Get 'em Alan!

People might say, "Wait a second. It seems like this guy relishes in the fact that he thinks he knows everything. He insults people. Calls them ignorant. Is condescending. The true message of God is completely lost in this lunatic's inability to have discourse without throwing petty jabs at the ones he disagrees with. Is he really an abolitionist? When he says things like this?

"Japan attacked Pearl Harbor, but was that attack nearly as unjustified as America's aggression in the war with Mexico (1830s) and the war against Spain (turn of the 20th century), to say nothing of the North's aggression against the South in the 1860s."

OK, TIMEOUT. One, since Alan Maricle knows all, he is perfectly in his right to call someone out, even if it may seem 'insulting' or 'condescending'. And to call him a lunatic? You might as well call St. Francis a lunatic. Where is St. Francis now? Rubbing elbows with Jesus in HEAVEN.

So Pagan haters, eat that. We have a noble man in our midst. And hopefully the Lord will show him the light that is horse abortions are still being performed at an alarming rate. It's truly despicable. But if we have Alan Maricle of Norman, Oklahoma on our side then we can beat this altogether! Hurrah!

To celebrate this joyous occasion, we'll have Barry Manilow sing us out with this classic. Remember children, when you sing along, replace 'Miracle' with 'Maricle'!!

A message to my ASO brothers and sister

I was reading some of the comments being posted over on the Abolitionist Society of Oklahoma's website and I'm absolutely DISGUSTED by these pro-abortion jerks. They are CLEARLY non compos mentis.

So this is a message to those of you over there fighting the good fight: Keep up the good work! I'd like to think every time you guys post a response to one of these God-hating whack-a-loons, the Devil loses a little more of his will to slaughter innocent fetuses. Stop ALL fetus genocide.

It's funny. These guys seem soooo nauseated by the ethnic cleansing of Hitler (who they SAY was a Christian, but he clearly wasn't), but that argument proves to be 100 percent ARBITRARY. Aren't you pro-abortion crackpots advocating for the continued legalization of a GENOCIDE? Fetus genocide? How intellectually dishonest it is to say that innocent little fetuses, who have committed no sin except that of being CONCEIVED (which isn't a sin; I just feel like I have to explain my sarcasm to you kooky jackrabbits) are somehow LESSER than all the Jews and others that got killed by Hitler. No difference at all. I see God's creatures. That's it. Period. End of story.

Stop the senselessness. End fetus extermination.